Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Musings on Your Unmade Bed



I do not understand this. I don't understand what is that you want from me. When you are with me, I'm at all sorts of high. All my senses are piqued. Your voice sweltering against my face, whispers that my cheeks are flushed bloody red. Your touch leaves tingly goosebumps all over my body. A shiver runs down my spine while I feel heat creeping up on the sides of my neck. How do you do that? I don't understand how you have this command over me.
When you leave.. why does your afterglow leave just as fast? It wasn't like that before, was it? I cannot remember. Now, all I feel is a void. I'm not sad, not yet anyway. I'm not bitter, not yet anyway. I'm not at ease, not anymore. I'm not in love, not anymore. I feel tethered. Neither here, in my world nor there in yours!
What is that you want? Did I ask you to haunt me? You say everything what I want to hear. You smile your vulnerable shy smile and I feel weak in my knees. Your gaze falls upon me like warm sunshine on bone cold winter earth. Then why is that I feel vacuum and alone when you leave? So alone that it's like a blow to my face. 
Am I your dirty little secret? Have you stowed me away in dusty cobwebbed crooks of your head? Do you talk about me to your friends? Do you get breathless when you think about how I blow your mind on quiet cloudy Sundays? 
Do I exist in your world outside your grey walls?

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